physics spa today. it was horrific. i think i died many times over while trying to memorize the spa and still i forgot some things.
woke up at 5am today to try to study, not possible.
anyway after the spa test i waited around in school to meet her to go study at ti amor with eileen and mushi.
i couldnt study at all la. for some reason i cant focus at all and all i did was slack.
i realize my mind is a very strange thing, it starts up at different times and i think the lack of sleep atributed to a short attention span and highly distractable me.
i decided that staying there was wasting my time so i went home early.
i had planned on doing the gp homework assignment by starting with some research but i soon fell asleep doing nothing.
well shall keep exploring my mind(:

you know what's the funny thing?
even though i'm surrounded by hypocrites, i'm still not used to them.
serious self control needed.

why be nice to someone who apparently isnt nice to you and doesnt give respect to you.

i'm straightforward i know, life's too short to go round and round.
stupid people do stupid things.

the past week made me realise a lot of things.
i can be so much of a jerk sometimes.
i hate it when i do things uncontrollably, it's like another personality of mine.
maybe i should keep away from people i will hurt, or keep away from people who hates me.

this sucks. well at least she's not mad at me already. but there are people mad at me still.

i'm sorry for being a jerk, there are so many things in my mind so many things happening at the same time that i couldnt choose what to do. i didnt know what i said or what i was doing. what i knew and thought was wrong or perhaps had change after so long.

i wanted someone to tell my thoughts to.
but she's still not yet the one. she tells her friends almost everything, i dont know if i can tell her though i really want to.

all these feelings, all these pain.
i really want someone to share my burden. someone to share my pain.
i want it to be you.

i saw the flaws in people and the other sides of people. i dont know what to do or how to react.
maybe i should just be the real me. not the one now hiding behind a mask.
what should i do.

i want to talk to you so badly but it seems you just dont have the time for me.
will we work out? i dont know.